


First kiss

by dies_dandles



Series: Inquisitor Ayden Trevelyan [6]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Family Drama, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-17
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-16 12:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11828994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dies_dandles/pseuds/dies_dandles
Summary: Dorian talks with his father, goes quiet, and makes Ayden worry. Ayden writes home to mend bridges. Mother Giselle is being an annoying mother hen. First kisses.





	First kiss

**Author's Note:**

> Started as a drabble, and it just drew on. Can't find a place to put a chapter-stop... So, sorry for the length.

“You need to talk to your father”, Ayden said quietly, touching the mage’s arm, “Please, don’t leave it like this.”

He was remembering the last discussion with his own father before he had left for the conclave. It had not gone well. Ayden’s mother was still writing him, but the letters were short, and he knew she was writing them in secret. There was no word from his sisters, and certainly not his father. Most of his relatives were still unaware of the rift, but even before he had been mostly left out of the family events.

He didn’t want Dorian to have to live with what he knew was a heavy thing. True enough, he didn’t know the whole story of what had happened between the two, but he gathered a lot from the scathing words Dorian flung at his father.

Dorian touched his hand gently and turned to face his father.

Discreetly Ayden retreated out of the empty tavern. Cassandra and Varric were waiting outside the door and the young Inquisitor joined them and the crowd surrounding them. Soon he was shaking hands and people were handing their children at him to hold, which he politely refused on account of his hand.

“I’m ready to leave”, said a soft voice in his ear after Ayden didn’t know how long.

He turned to look at the mage. “Did you talk?”

Dorian looked away, shrugging. “It’s a start. Can we leave?”

Pursing his lips, Ayden nodded. “Cassandra, are we able to leave for Skyhold today? Or do you think we should wait for tomorrow?”

Concerned, Cassandra glanced from one man to the other. “We can leave today”, she confirmed and the four started making their way to their horses that had been left at the gates.

*

Even when they took the long way back the trip home was uneventful, Dorian and Ayden shared a tent, but Dorian didn’t make a move to get closer to the redhead. Every night, when it was time to turn in, the mage would enter the tent, unroll his bed, settle down and turn his back to the other man. Ayden took to sitting by the fire with either Varric or the guard late to the night, until he was sure the other man was already asleep; he couldn’t take the cold silence of the tent.

Not after the warmth they had shared on few occasions now.

Varric kept frowning at them and Cassandra looked worried. Ayden didn’t feel like eating at all for the week they were on the road, so he looked thinner than ever once they finally reached Skyhold again.

Dorian retreated to the library as soon as the welcomes had been exchanged. Josephine was aghast at Ayden’s appearance and looked ready to drag him off to a bath and a meal, but he quickly dodged and went to look at the soldiers training on the grounds.

Cullen was overseeing the matches, as usual, a small frown on his face. He looked up when Ayden stood beside him.

“They’re getting better”, the Inquisitor noted, and then he noticed Cullen staring, “What? do I have something on my face?”

“By the Maker!” Cullen exclaimed in a hushed tone, “How are you still losing weight? You’re even skinnier now?” He placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “You look like you’re withering away. Are you actually eating?”

“No”, Ayden looked around, “Can we talk in private?” he asked, glancing at the soldiers who had stopped training and were now looking at the pair.

Cullen turned to them. “Who told you to stop?!” he bellowed at the men, and led Ayden away and to his office.

He closed the door carefully. “You’re not eating?” he asked.

“No”, Ayden said simply, “Can’t seem to be able to keep anything down.”

“Are you ill?” Cullen asked, removing a glove and trying his forehead, but Ayden waved him away.

“No, I’m fine, just not hungry”, he let out a dry laugh, “Funny you worrying about me. You’re the one trying to get off lyrium.”

“Yes”, Cullen answered, leaning to his desk, “But that is something we both know. This change I’m seeing has happened while you were away. What happened?”

“You know we went to see Dorian’s father, right? In Redcliffe?”

“Yes, did they talk?”

“I don’t know”, Ayden admitted, feeling the tears gather in his eyes, “Dorian hasn’t spoken two words to me after that.”

“He what?” Cullen asked, standing up straight, “but he’s been flirting with you non-stop since you two met.”

“I know”, Ayden said, shrugging.

Culled sighed and frowned. “And you’re not eating because you’re worrying. Ayden… Do you want me to talk to him?”

“No, I…”, but the door banged open and Josephine entered with a pile of papers.

“Inquisitor, there are things that require your attent-”, but she stopped short when she saw the tears in Ayden’s eyes, “What is wrong?”

“It’s nothing”, Ayden said, swallowing quickly. He said his farewells and left the room, leaving the two advisors standing in the office.

Cullen called something after him, but Ayden didn’t hear. He was across the rotunda before Solas had time to acknowledge his presence and no one in the Great Hall had time to get his attention before he was at his bedroom tower’s door.

There a squire caught up to him and worriedly handed him a note. Ayden took the note and retired to the dark staircase.

Now he could let the tears come.

He was tired. He wasn’t even hungry anymore. All he wanted was to fall on his bed and not get up, maybe at all, but at least for today. He needed to talk to someone. He needed family. Running up the stairs, Ayden slammed his chamber door open, quickly took a quill and parchment from his desk that was overflowing and plopped down on the rugs in front of the fireplace.

_Dear Jane_ , he began, _I hope you are in good health, and the rest of the family as well._

A drop of ink fell onto the paper.

_As you’ve probably heard, I’ve been made Inquisitor, and we are trying to do something about the mess the world is in._

_The thing is,_ he scratched this out and started again, _I wanted to write to you because as you know Father and I had another fight just before I left, and all I’m getting from them are some short notes from Mother. We didn’t have time to patch things up with Father before I had to set off, and I know it’s already been months since then, and I’m not sure if he even wants to try anymore. I don’t want to lose you all because I can’t love who he wants me to._

_I have never felt as alone as I do now, Jane. Please write to me, and pass the note attached to our Father, please._

_Your Brother,_

_Ayden Trevelyan_

He set the letter to dry and pulled another piece of parchment closer.

_Dear Father,_

_I know you probably don’t want to hear from me. But I’m writing to let you know that I hope you still consider me your son, even if I cannot be the kind of son you would want me to be._

_The Inquisition is trying to help. I’m trying to help. Hope you can, at some point, be proud of that._

_(Still) your loving Son,_

_Ayden_

_PS. Please give Mother my love._

After the ink had dried in the letters, he folded the note inside the letter to Jane, his eldest sister, and wrote the recipient on the top. Then he set the letter down and reached for the note that had been given to him at the door.

_Ayden,_

_Come by the library sometime today._

_D_.

The redhead jumped on his feet, and at the same moment there was a polite knock at the door.

“Enter”, he called resignedly, but not so tiredly anymore.

His spymaster made her way up the stairs with soft feet. There was a small smile on her lips, and a cloth covered tray in her hands.

“Leliana”, Ayden said, “It is nice to see you.”

“Welcome home”, she answered, “I brought you food. You look like you need to eat.”

“Yes”, Ayden admitted, “I think I should. Keep me company?”

“Gladly.”

“You can give me an update on what has been going on in my absence”, Ayden said as they settled down on the sofa, Leliana setting the tray onto the small round table next to the man.

He ate slowly, while Leliana talked, and for the first time in a week he didn’t feel sick. Leliana had brought a little fruit and those sweet crackers she knew he liked. He poured the light ale into two cups and offered the other to Leliana.

“Sorry, I’ve been so difficult today”, he said with a little smile of his own.

“It’s fine”, she answered, taking a sip, “We all have heartaches sometimes. Are you going to be alright?”

“Yes”, Ayden said, “I’m going to go talk to him soon.”

“I recommend a bath first”, Leliana laughed, “Do you want me to take the letter?”

“Please. And pass the inspection on that one”, Ayden winked, “It’s just for my family.”

“I will send it as soon as possible. As for those”, Leliana gestured to the pile of documents, “You can leave them for tomorrow.”

“Thank you”, Ayden said, starting to prepare for a quick bath. Leliana took her leave.

*

Ayden made his way stealthily across the Great Hall, trying to avoid all their esteemed guests. All he could think about right now was Dorian, and what he would want to talk about. He slipped through to the side stairs that took him straight to the library, avoiding the rotunda.

Dorian was staring out of a window in the completely empty library, the only sounds were the gentle rustling of Leliana’s birds above, and the occasional rustle of paper from below where Solas was reading.

“He says we’re alike. Too much pride”, Dorian began without turning around, “Once I would’ve been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now I’m not certain.” He sighed. “I don’t know if I can forgive him.”

“He used blood magic on you?” Ayden asked quietly, when Dorian finally turned to look at him.

“Tried to. I ran away once I found out what he was planning.”

“Dorian”, Ayden said, stepping closer, but not touching the other man, “I’m so sorry. Are you alright?”

“No. Not really”, Dorian also stepped closer to the other man, “I should have said this before, but thank you for bringing me out there. At least we’re communicating now.”

“You were”, Ayden paused, looking away, “distant, on the way back. I was worried.”

“I know, Ayden”, Dorian said, gently lifting the younger man’s chin, making him look at his face, “I’m sorry. I was too absorbed in my own mind.” He leaned down and kissed Ayden on the cheek. “Am I forgiven?”

Ayden smiled, looking down. “Yes, I was just worried. Not mad.”

“But you’ve lost more weight now, and on my account. I’ll have to make sure to fix this”, Dorian said, sliding his hand down Ayden’s side. “Your bones are sticking out.”

“I know”, Ayden answered, trying not to lean into the gentle touch, “You know. You talking to your father made me want to reach out to mine, to try to mend my bridge, too.”

“You argued?”

“The night before I left for the Conclave. Left without proper goodbyes.”

“Tell me?” Dorian asked sitting down on the high-backed chair and pulling Ayden on his lap.

“I’ve told you I’m the only son in my family. I’ve got two older sisters, Jane and Elaine, and one younger, Lucy. Jane is very capable and could very well be the next head of the family, but Father is being very traditional about it all”, Ayden sighed, “Once her realised that I wouldn’t be getting married, nor continuing our family name – as he put it – our relationship has been strained. I was shunned in the family parties.”

“And your mother?”

Ayden laughed quietly, “She adores me. I’m her little boy, no matter who I am. Not to say she spoiled me, that honour fell on my sisters. Jane was ten when I was born, so I was effectively her living doll as a toddler. Elaine is six years older, and she’s an adventurer. Lucy is the little princess, she’s sixteen this year and already has lieu of suitors at her beck and call.”

Dorian smiled fondly at the young man on his lap. “They seem important to you. How about the fight with your father?”

“I had snuck out to go to a tavern with friends, and got home late”, Ayden blushed, “And more than a little dishevelled.”

“Wild night?”

“Very, but satisfying”, Ayden admitted, covering his blushing face, “Anyway, father was still awake, waiting for me. There was the same lecture about family honour, acting my age and all of that, but I finally snapped when he started talking about disowning me.”

“What did you say?”

“I pointed out that I wasn’t doing anything else that my friends were doing, and what he himself had done as a young man, I just went for other boys, not women. And that I at least didn’t have to pay for my night’s entertainment.”

Dorian’s eyes widened. “Wow… Then what?”

“I stormed off”, Ayden said lamely, “But I think mother heard us, because her letters to me have been more like notes if anything. I don’t know what’s happening with my sisters. I just wrote to Jane, asking for news. I hope I’ll get a proper reply.”

“And your father?”

“I attached a note to him. Not apologising, because I haven’t done anything wrong, damn it, but asking him not to cut ties.”

“No, you haven’t”, Dorian said, “And it’s good that you’re reaching out. And I’d love to meet your sisters, they sound like a fun bunch.”

“You...” Ayden blushed again, “You want to meet my family?”

“You’ve already met half of mine”, Dorian said dryly.

Ayden laughed awkwardly. “Yes, I have.” He made to get up, but Dorian wrapped his arms around his waist.

“Let’s have breakfast together tomorrow, I’d like to make sure you eat. Meet me here?”

“I’ll meet you here”, Ayden said, finally getting up, “Good night.”

He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on Dorian’s forehead. Last thing he saw Dorian doing was raising his hand to touch the place he’d kissed and smiling.

He ran into Mother Giselle in the narrow stairway. She looked shocked and scandalised, and was clearly trying to cover that from Ayden.

“Good evening, Revered Mother”, Ayden said carefully.

“Good evening, Inquisitor”, she said, smiling tensely.

“Is there something wrong?” Ayden asked, passing the older woman.

“Nothing at all.”

“Well, then. Good night”, Ayden said, bowing slightly and hurrying down the stairs.

*

Ayden got up in a good mood next morning, washed his face and dressed quickly. He knew it was still early, but he also knew that Dorian woke up early. When he got to the empty rotunda – Was Solas still sleeping? – he heard angry voices from above.

He rushed up the staircase just in time to heard Dorian quip something about his tongue at the clearly agitated Revered Mother.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, looking around at the circle of the library, noting it was thankfully empty again.

Mother Giselle got even more agitated when she noticed the redhead. Dorian gave him a half smile.

She stuttered, but Dorian explained that the Mother was worried about his influence over the Inquisitor to which the mother answered, a little calmer now, that the worry was nothing serious, and that she was only concerned about what the people might think of Ayden, no, the Inquisitor, because he was spending so much time with a Tevinter mage.

Apparently, there were rumours already. Ayden sighed, of course there were, they hadn’t been trying to hide their attraction to one another. Dorian glanced at the younger man when he heard the sigh, but didn’t say anything.

Dorian asked the Mother what these rumours were exactly, but she refused to tell.

With a quip of his own, Ayden dismissed the woman and turned to Dorian.

“She didn’t get to you, did she?” he asked the mage.

Dorian laughed a little and denied it. He was used to it. “I’m more worried about you”, he admitted, “Are you bothered by these rumours?”

“I would have to know what they say first”, Ayden said, frowning. He didn’t have time to listen too much of the idle gossip going around the castle, not with all the paperwork and planning he had to be constantly doing.

“The assumption in certain circles is that you and I are… intimate”, Dorian clarified, making the other man blush slightly.

Looking away, Ayden muttered: “Not the worst assumption they could have… Is it?”

“I could think of worse”, Dorian answered with a laugh. The disagreement with the Mother had apparently made his spirits better.

Still blushing, Ayden glanced at the mage. “So…?”

Dorian took a couple of quick paces to close the distance between them, and raised his chin, making the younger man look at him. Surprised, Ayden blinked, and then Dorian was kissing him.

He could feel the mage’s tongue flick at his lips, and he opened his mouth to admit entry. Dorian pressed him against the bookshelves and deepened the kiss.

Ayden slid his hands up Dorian’s sides, and then gently pushed the older man away from him, breaking the kiss. He wound his arms around Dorian’s shoulders and held him close. They were both breathing hard, and then Ayden laughed.

“That was our first kiss”, he whispered, his eyes flicking down to the mage’s lips.

“Was it?” he asked quietly.

“Yes”, Ayden laughed. “Let’s get something to eat. I can’t talk about anything with an empty stomach.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, the mood in this changes rather rapidly, but I can't help it, not because I feel like my head doesn't work right now.  
> Next up will probably be the family amulet or the Winter Palace masquerade. Suggestions and feedback are warmly welcomed.


End file.
